Feeling taken care of (D/s)

10 Oct

Jalan takes care of me. We take care of each other in many ways: asymmetric but still reciprocal, as I am fond of saying. The last couple of weeks have involved some (temporary) life changes that have put me in much more of a day-to-day chore/housekeeping role than I am used to. This is ok with me — I’m pretty good at it, and the needs get met.

Yesterday, though, I have needed more of the active care. A bit of context, first: Readers here know full well that orgasm control is one of my major kinks, and a big part of our 24/7 D/s. It’s becoming ever more so, so two nights ago I wrote an essay of sorts for Jalan, updating my thinking, wants, and needs in that domain. I may decide to share the whole thing at some point, but an excerpt here:

Giving control of my sexual pleasure, including masturbation and orgasm, over to you is not the core of my submission, but is one of the highest ongoing exemplars of it. Barring use of the belt, it would be one of the easiest of all the rules to covertly break. I don’t, but I always know I could — and I don’t. Further, orgasm control is something nobody else in society could or would impose on me — but I yield it to you. These factors are part of its importance to me in our kink. That, and it’s a turn-on.

That said, last night: It had been a stressful day, and I was feeling a bit scattered and out of sorts. I had been thinking of asking for some time bundled in my straitjacket, when Jalan offered the same thing. She knows me well. She had work to do, so I cued up a streaming movie, and she came in the bedroom to rig me up. But first, she brought out the chastity belt.

We got the belt on me, which is a two-person job, then the straitjacket (I had to ask her to go easy with the crotch strap, with the combination!). She then fluffed the pillows behind me, put a blanket on my lap, and the laptop on that. She adjusted the screen and volume, then left me to my entertainment.

I blissed out. The movie wasn’t very good, but the first 30-60 minutes, especially, I was feeling calm and at peace, and trying to figure out ways to extend that feeling. As the movie wound down, I started thinking again about mundane life and getting a bit off-center again, but for most of that time — I was safe. Nothing to do, nothing to worry about, just lie there and watch my movie. As if I could have done anything else.

That is a big part of what bondage does for me. And that is a small part of what Jalan does for me.

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Posted by on October 10, 2012 in D/s


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