Missing masturbation (a good thing)

15 Jun

Most of the time since Jalan and I have been together, I have had a weekly quota for masturbating. Most often, exactly three. If it was a period of orgasm denial, then I still had to edge myself those three times. Under some versions, I could substitute solo anal play during a period of denial.

Last July, I asked that the quota be lifted. I was so scared, anxious, and tired with the health issues that it was demoralizing when I couldn’t get up (so to speak) the will to masturbate. Since then, the rule has been “Do as you’re told.” A handful (sorry) of times since then, she’s directed me to masturbate to orgasm. Maybe 5 or 6 times in the last 11 months.

Even when I was feeling more myself (can’t help it), though, the reconditioning had got to the point where I wasn’t even missing it / wishing for it. Which is not the goal of orgasm control in our relationship.

I’m happy to report, and Jalan is happy to hear, that I’m once again, over the last several weeks, wishing I were allowed to masturbate. I’m often waking up holding myself. Not that the rules have changed . . .

Yay, libido!


Posted by on June 15, 2014 in Chastity and denial


4 responses to “Missing masturbation (a good thing)

  1. susannahclary

    June 15, 2014 at 8:16 am

    Libido can be so fickle when mental and physical illness take their toll. So frustrating! (but not in the good way)

    While orgasm control is one of my major kinks, it does less than nothing for me if/when the submissive loses his desire to masturbate. If he could “take it or leave it”, what exactly am I controlling? It then becomes an exercise in frustration for the wrong person! 😛

    Glad to hear your libido’s making a comeback (I can’t help it either)!

    • nagadikandang

      June 15, 2014 at 8:19 am

      Yes, exactly that! Jalan’s mentioned recently that she’s considering bringing back a quota, now that it will likely have the desired effect on me, and thus for her 🙂

  2. AFlutterby

    June 15, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Yay libido!!
    I’m happy the hear things are looking up (can’t help it either)

  3. slapshot

    June 15, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    I’m glad to hear that your libido has returned. I rather miss mine… Not that I have any real use for it right now.


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