General relationship ramblings (NSFW text)

I keep promising this, and this is a good time for it. More lonely hotel room time.

I have been kinky as long as I can remember. My earliest memories are of bondage imagery. From then through early adulthood, I was solely a bondage perv. When I entered the local scene (local at the time), I gradually began to explore other elements, including both pain play and, later, D/s relationship roles. Since my first kinky relationship, it’s not something I’ve ever wanted to go back from. I tried a couple of times to “date vanilla,” but it was never a good idea.

Being a switch makes it easier in some ways and harder in others. I do not want to give up kinky sex, nor do I want to give up D/s relationships, but I’ve gone back and forth over the years in how best to accommodate all the needs and desires. I’ve been dominant in romantic relationships and submissive. I’ve done both in non-romantic intimate relationships. I bottom whenever possible, and top occasionally. I’ve tried poly, monogamous, and open. I’ve had a relationship that opened my eyes to true switching — a dynamic, reciprocal, D/s.

Where I have landed (for now) is in an open relationship as submissive to another switch. She requires me to top her occasionally, but is always relationally dominant. And we are perverts in love. This works exceptionally well, but it does mean my dominant side doesn’t get exercised. I won’t say never, but I certainly do not expect it to ever get exercised with/over Jalan. She is a dominant masochist and sadist, switch but not submissive. The future can be long, and may involve my taking a submissive partner as well someday. It could involve us taking a submissive third as a couple, if we find just the right person, with some form of “chain of command.”

What we do not intend to let it involve is losing our intimacy. Even if someday (and this could be independent of other partnerships) the D/s between us is no longer serving us, the D/s will go. It is a facet of our relationship, and one that we get a great deal out of, but does not define it.

(Of course, we still have every intent of her chaining me to the bed at night in the retirement home.)

Perverts in love.